The ultimate decision about what is authentic is the individual's own choice. It must he his or her choice, always. Although it is influenced by others' responses and interpretations, self-expression is ultimately determined by its owner. Helpful feedback may provide objective information about what others have noticed or paid attention to, and can lead to performance changes which may improve relationships, but the individual must choose how to use the information offered.

Haim Ginott, Ph.D. who wrote BETWEEN PARENT AND CHILD, suggested that "there may be no such thing as constructive criticism", especially of children, who incorporate what they are told into their self-image, and they are reluctant to prove a parent wrong. There may only be the "comparing of notes" or "thinking out loud together" in a mutual, nuturing discussion of alternatives and options open to each individual, increasing our understanding of each other's thoughts and feelings.